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Divorce Law
Divorce, also known as “dissolution of marriage,” occurs when a marriage is legally terminated. Divorce law governs the sometimes complicated process of divorce, helping to determine how property and assetts are divided as well as who will have custody of children the couple may have. Couples going through a divorce may want to consider hiring a qualified divorce lawyer to help determine the most equitable decisions.
Types of Divorce
There are two types of divorce: Fault and No Fault divorce. In the past, the spouse filing for divorce had to show evidence of wrongdoing on the part of his or her partner. Today most states no longer require it. There may still be divorce cases, however, when showing that one partner is at fault may be worthwhile. The following is a description of each type of divorce.
Fault Divorce
In some cases, one partner can be shown to be at fault in a divorce. This is most common when abuse is an issue. One spouse may also be found at fault if it can be shown that he or she is guilty of adultery or abandonment. In addition, a fault divorce may be given if one partner is unable to engage in sexual intercourse or if he or she is in prison. In some cases, the divorcing spouse may want to file a fault divorce, because he or she may be awarded a greater share of the couple’s assets. Fault divorces also tend to be processed more quickly as there is no separation period like the one required for a no fault divorce.
No-Fault Divorce
A no-fault divorce is much less complicated than a fault divorce. In a no fault divorce there is no need for evidence or proof of wrongdoing. Instead, any legally recognized reason for divorce is acceptable. Generally, “irreconcilable differences,” or the mere inability to get along, is considered a valid reason for no fault divorce. This means that the other spouse cannot prevent his or her partner from filing for divorce. By challenging the decision, he or she only lends merit to the fact that the couple does not see eye to eye.
Couples seeking a divorce may want to consider consulting an experienced divorce attorney.
Techniques That Don’t Work
Some of this new research debunks conventional wisdom on marriage counseling. For example, it suggests that a popular counseling technique called “active listening” doesn’t work. “Active Listening” or “parroting” is a widely used technique in couples therapy in which one spouse complains about the other and the other spouse repeats the complaint in his or her own words and says, “I hear what you’re saying.”
Also, traditional counseling encourages couples to give up their idealized view of relationships and romance, but this new research shows that people with the highest expectations for marriage have the best marriages. Dr. Maslin explained that’s because these people care deeply, they’re willing to fight for their marriage, and to put the work into the marriage.
The study identified five types of marriages and their risk for divorce as:
Pursuer Distancer
Highest Risk
Typically the wife raises problems; the husband dismisses them and/or refuses to talk about them.
Disengaged
High Risk
These are emotionally distant individuals who don’t need intimacy, and lack mutual interests.
Operatic
High Risk
This is characterized by a tumultuous and volatile relationship, marked by cycles of fighting and making up.
Cohesive Individuated
Low Risk
The hallmarks of this type of marriage are shared responsibilities, autonomy, and a view of marriage as a refuge.
Traditional
Lowest Risk
These couples share a traditional interpretation of gender roles.
Couples who once might have wed and then divorced now are not marrying at all, according to The State of our Unions 2005. The annual report, which analyzes Census and other data, is issued by the National Marriage Project at New Jersey’s Rutgers University.
The U.S. divorce rate is 17.7 per 1,000 married women, down from 22.6 in 1980. The marriage rate is also on a steady decline: a 50% drop since 1970 from 76.5 per 1,000 unmarried women to 39.9, says the report, whose calculations are based on an internationally used measurement.
“Cohabitation is here to stay,” says David Popenoe, a Rutgers sociology professor and report co-author. “I don’t think it’s good news, especially for children,” he says. “As society shifts from marriage to cohabitation — which is what’s happening — you have an increase in family instability.”
Cohabiting couples have twice the breakup rate of married couples, the report’s authors say. And in the USA, 40% bring kids into these often-shaky live-in relationships.
“It is important now to think beyond the divorce rate to other kinds of couple unions and look at how stable they are,” says Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, a social historian and report co-author.
“It’s a pretty short period of time for that change (cohabitation) to have occurred and to have taken hold in the way it has,” she says.
In the USA, 8.1% of coupled households are made up of unmarried, heterosexual partners. Although many European countries have higher cohabitation rates, divorce rates in those countries are lower, and more children grow up with both biological parents, even though the parents may not be married, Popenoe says.
The USA has the lowest percentage among Western nations of children who grow up with both biological parents, 63%, the report says.
“The United States has the weakest families in the Western world because we have the highest divorce rate and the highest rate of solo parenting,” Popenoe says.
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This is one of those trends that seems to feed upon itself. As more marriages break up, or couples cohabitate and produce children, those children in turn see the choices the parents make as normal or mainstream. Those children in turn are growing up and viewing events like divorce as perfectly acceptable, or even as an inevitable event in the progression of a relationship. Just another stage of life, if you will. Not putting this up to judge anybody’s life, I’m divorced myself. But our society is going to pay the price even more in the years to come if we completely lose the idea of the traditional family.
Agree, this is becoming a major problem for society. Traditional l values are going the wayside replaced by an anything goes attitude not just in marriage but in all aspects of life. That said I don’t know what the answer is, we are are more permissive society and with that comes more choices. Divorce simply was not an option for most people up until the past twenty years. Now that it is a viable alternative families must face the fall out primarily the effect on children involved. I hope for the sake of our children we learn to resolve our differences in a manner that is least damaging to them.
My parents are my heros, 50 years they have been MARRIED! I do wish mine could have lasted that long, CHEERS MUM & DAD!
Great comment, Hawkeye. I’m in the same boat, my parents have also been married 50 years, God Bless them. They are my role models, and unfortunately my marriage only lasted a few years. Didn’t get married with the idea it would turn out like that, but it’s a different world today. Unfortunately, those of us who still believe in old fashion values are stuck in a society that doesn’t care much about them. Interacting in todays world, you really don’t meet many women who think that way. And I hate to say it, but the system seems set up to reward them if they don’t. Sad state of affairs.
Spot on Greg. Spot on. Unfortunately in today’s society we live, (I believe) in a disposable one. Don’t like your toaster, get a new one, car needs tires, get a new one(forget the fact that you are so upside down in your car you can’t afford new tires, kinda like a marriage). Marriage is a work in progress, although most people do not see it that way. At the first sign of a speed bump, you guessed it, get a divorce. Sad state of affairs. Very rarely do I see where a divorce has benefited either of the parties involved. Oh, and I havent even mentioned the lil curtain climbers caught in the middle of these fiascos. Most of the time they are played as pawns in a chess match, and very costly chess match, monetarily, and most important emotionally.
Glad to see some people log on and talk about success stories. Unfortunately, most of the good stories are from our parents generation. Sad to see so many marriages and relationships going by the wayside nowadays. Hopefully we’ll see the pendulum swing back the other way, but I’m not holding my breath. I really do believe in marriage and the old fashioned family values, but where are the women who agree, and aren’t just after a meal ticket. Ironic that the link to find women here is a cheaters site…nice if they put another one up that had real women who are looking for a man with traditional values. Or do we have to go the mail order route?
Hi Eddie, I’m glad also that I found people and especially men that believe in marriage, like you and Hawkeye , where have you guys been? I’m firmly a marriage believer, a lot of my friends too, but unfortunately my marriage didn’t last, two years after my twins were born, the world changed for me and my ex. The main reason in our case, was the lack of money, difficult times and lack of communication too. One day we mentioned in an angry tone the word “divorce” and 6 months later we had two different paths far away from each other. We never thought of counseling, we never got time to think of our children or our traditional values, and we lost in an instant the most precious thing a human being should fight for: a family…my question: Is it a lack of money or a lack of patience that breaks up most relationships?