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Well guys, this is where you leave the thoughts, the frustration, and the stress. Leave as detailed a message as you like, but please remember no full names will be posted. No personal information such as address or phone numbers. Shes Evil wants you to express yourself and let your thoughts be heard. Coming from people that are divorced you are not going to shock us. Hell if you do shock us you might get a free T Shirt from the Shes Evil shop.
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I think that the divorce lawyers that prey upon willing couples (who want a mutual divorce) and soak them for every possibble penny should be shipped off to an island and left for dead. Maybe the pricks will start to each off of each other. My ex wife and I are still friends and the only thing we got out of our “Mutual Divorce” was allot less money for us or the kids. When all was said and done it cost us more than 12 thousand and took nearly 2 years. I live in New York and wondered if this was the normal or is it just another New York system failure???
Anybody know about divorce mediation? I’ve heard about it, but not sure how it works. Every guy I know who got divorced shelled out a lot for a lawyer, but is it a good idea to go in without one? LIke any other business deal, probably better to have representation. Anybody know differently?
Not sure about the mediation thing, but I know that there are legal services out there that offer discounted services, I think most of the work is done by paralegals, and they only have lawyers for consultation. They have different names, I think some of them might be franchises. Not sure the quality of the product. True story, though,I saw one about 2 weeks ago, driving with the wife, (of course, she’s nagging the hell out of me). It actually had a sign out front that said “DIVORCE $499.” I hit the brakes and said, “LOOK HONEY, A SALE!!”. I might need these guys now.
You got that right. My lawyer took 5g’s for the retainer, and told me that any unused amount would be refunded after a “non-contested” divorce. Apparently there’s no such thing, since the more it’s contested, the more they can bill you. If it’s really uncontested, do yourself a favor and try to draft an agreement between the 2 of you…then just go to a mediation service. If you really can’t agree, then you’re screwed anyway, but your lawyer isn’t your friend. I’m in NY also, so I guess we would need to hear from some guys in other states to see if this is the system everywhere. I got to the point where I would actually look forward talking to my ex more than I would my lawyer. The meter is running on every conversation.
I live on the west coast. On my 2nd marriage now. First marriage seemed pretty good, went south fast. Couldn’t believe how few rights I had when it came to custody, child support, and the rest of it. Pretty much just a meal ticket. I love my kids, but can’t believe how much power the state, my ex wife, and her lawyer have over important decisions regarding how their raised, ect…while my opinion seems to count for %$^%^. Only my paycheck matters. How did we get to this point? Why are men the only parties automatically considered bad actors in this whole drama, but yet the other parties listed above are assumed to always have the kids best interest at heart? I’m sure there are some other voices out there too.
I spent almost 30K on my divorce just in legal fees. At the end of it all, the child support judgment was exactly what New York State law mandates, based on my income and the number of children. (In NY, it’s approx. 17% for 1 child, 25% for 2, and 33% for 3). Now I wonder why I even hired a lawyer. Did I get $30,000 worth of service? I could have read up on the subject in the library, or even on the net, and ended up with the same result. Maybe you guys could put some of the different states’ divorce laws up on this page, and save some men a lot of money.
What the fuck dawgs ,man the fuck up and get an asshole lawyer that lives for this shit. Make that woman pay for all the injustices that she has heaped upon you.
Just my little rant on that evil bitch!
The first thing my lawyer told me was “If you had a difficult marriage you’l have a difficult divorce”. My wife and i had a terrible marriage regarding communication, there was none. During the divorcr process we never spoke, all communication was done through our attorneys. The division of assests should have been simple but because of our non communication the attorneys extended things and the process took over a year and cost us more than seventy thousand dollars. If you can get your wife to agree to mediation it will make the process much /cheaper/easier on both of you.
Divorce Lawyers are great for my Business,
I do mortgages. Most times the home assets are divided between spouses and divorce attorneys call us to make a new mortgage to get cash out and split the equity. Theirs is a dracula like business for which I have no admiration but it does pay some bills.
Hammer
Watching tv late and checking out your site. They’re not all evil. Jessica Alba is on tv right now….I don’t think she’s evil. That bastard who’s kid she’s having is a lucky son of a bitch, but I dont think she’s so bad. Just a little comment in the interest of equal time.
Hey! Just stumbled across this site, Love it! Here is an old saying that I modified, or maybe I heard it from somewhere, can’t remember, but anyways… They say you don’t know a person til you live with them, BULLSHIT, you will find out sooooooooo much more about that loving wife going through a divorce with them!
Hawkeye, your statement reminds me of another old saying. “I never went to bed with any ugly woman….but I sure as hell woke up with a few of them”. She’s evil, indeed
Haha…good one, grandmaster. I think we’ve all been there once or twice, not that we want to admit to it. Ever have one of those nights (or mornings) where you open your eyes staring at a strange ceiling? Your head hurts, and you don’t remember anything about the previous night? I remember one night like that, and I thought to myself “If I look to my left, I bet there’s gonna be an ugly broad laying there”. Slowly I turned, and….AAAHHHHHHH!!!!!! She must have been 20 years older than me, and looking every minute of it. Very quietly got up, grabbed my clothes, left, and then tried to figure out where the hell I was. Staggered home, swearing all the way “I’ll never drink again”. Think I stuck with that vow for at least 2 weeks. If I could ever find a picture of that woman, she could be your site mascot.
Hey Harvey, GREAT story! I remember one night, (Thank God I didnt end up going home with her) but anyways, I was in a club in Southern Cali, saw this chick with a beautiful ass in a pair of tight jeans. I was watching her dance with some guy, song ends, her turns and walks away leaving her standing there. Her’s my chance, I go up behind her, tap her on the shoulder and ask her to dance. As she turns around to say yes, OMG! She must have been 80, or what seemed like 80 at the time. Looked like an honest to god witch! Anyways, we dance, song ends, and you guessed it, I bolt! Walking away, I look over my shoulder, and yep, some other poor unsuspecting chap is tapping her on her shoulder! hahahaha Ahhhhhhhhhh, great memories!
Hawkeye, your story reminds me of another friend of mine. Might have also been so cal, not sure, but he told me he got pretty blasted one night, and staggered home with a woman who pretty much fit the description you gave…kicking body, kicked in face. When I asked him how bad she looked, he said “Remember the popeye cartoons wehn we were kids? She looked like the Sea Hag!!” I can only imagine.
Hey Harvey, “The Seahag” fits my description to a “T” also! Oh, those were the days!
You guys are pretty funny. I think most of us have some crazy/embarrasing stoires from our youth, but it takes a special kind of man to post them on the net. Hope those aren’t your real names…lol
Of course they are our real names, no one on the net ever lies…….hahahahaha
Like some of the comments here. Funny to see a few women logging on. A friend of mine once made an observation…he said if you take sex out of the equation, men and women have once main thing in common….they both prefer the company of men. Had to think about it for a bit, but it makes sense. Take sex out of the equation, and what does your average man want to do? Hang out with his friends, or do male-oriented things. On the other hand, what do women want to do? Hang with their man, as much as possible. Not a universal truth, but pretty common. No wonder there’s so much conflict, we’re at loggerheads about the most basic issue…how to spend our time. When the man resists the woman’s desire to take up all his time, all the drama starts…you don’t love me, I don’t get enough attention, you only think of yourself, yada yada yade. Wonder what a woman would think about this?
Hi! I’m Venus, I’m also from there….Somebody there is talking like my husband. I remember very well his words, always repeating women are evil and insecure creatures, I never told him that he looks gay with his waxed chest, it was disgusting! anyway, not my business any more, if you are not my husband, change your attitude honey!… you will not have success with any women with those kind of words…I’m logging on this website because I would like to learn more about men. I came from a family of 5 female children, not too much experience with male behavior… I don’t know if this is the appropriate site to learn about you guys… I’m also looking to how an evil woman can change? my husband made me evil and at the end of my marriage I enjoy it, an evil women, that’s me, ha ha ha …I’m also evily funny, even I laugh evily…my husband was very lazy and arrogant, he never helped with anything and was always taking pride of his beautiful skin! besides he always was complaining about me and at night when I put oil after taking a shower, he was complaining about it…I put it on purpose, because I wanted him far away from me on bed, I did not enjoy him, how can I love somebody who was always criticizing me? I want to change my evil because I’m dating to a gorgeous funny man…any advice? I don’t want him to change…thanks!…I forgot! I’m divorced because I feel different, I feel sweet and evil but only outside.
Ever wonder why all the mainstream media, movies, magazines, etc…all have articles asking “what to women want”? Never see anybody asking what men want. Does anybody give a damn? In my experience, most women certainly don’t. It’s all about them, and they don’t even mince words about it. All about them, and what you can do for them. Glad to see a web site that will actually allow me to say that, and welcome the comment. If the media finds this thing, they’ll call us all a bunch of mysogynists, woman bashers, and the like.
Some of these comments remind me of that expression that men are from mars and women are from venus. I asked a girl once if she agreed with that, and she told me that men are from Uranus. Wonder what she meant by that?
Damn, Brad, that woman sounds evil. Hope she had a big rack at least
There are actually several other sites out there on the net that focus on men’s rights. Some of them seem a little out there, focusing on mail order brides, and the evils of American women. Seems like the guys on this haven’t abaondoned our native women yet, just kind of bitter about the way the divorce industry is being bankrolled by us. Absolutely valid issues. But I think for every evil woman out there is also a decent, relatively normal one. Reevaluate your screening process before you get involved again, don’t make the same mistake twice.
Funny site, lot of people have something to say here. Anyway, it’s mothers day, so in spite of the tone here, I would like to wish all the mothers a happy mothers day. Even my ex-wife…and she’s really a mother#$$#$&^.
Are there any lawyers out there who actually have a rep for actually winning cases favoring men? Seems no matter what the actual circumstances of a marriage, the woman makes out and the man pays. My wife was wrong every step of the way, nasty, verbally abusive, unfaithful, the whole bit. Truth is, getting out was worth whatever it took, but in a world of fairness, I shouldn’t lose money over any settlement, given the circumstances. Instead, she kept the house, and I lost a ton of equity, as well as lawyers fees and the other related expenses. I guess these judges traded their balls for a seat on the bench. Do these judges ever get divorced? And if they do, what kind of settlements do they obtain? Does the old boys network kick in and protect their interest, or do they get their heads handed to them like the rest of us? Curious to hear what other people have to say, and their experiences.
What’s the real deal with pre-nups? I hear all different things, that they are not legally enforceable, or that they are more trouble than they are worth, and that they only give the woman a heads up that assets are out there for the taking. Also, is it at all practical to legally hide assets where they can’t be touched, like in familiy members names, etc? Somebody on this site used the example of mobsters, who never keep assets in their name, but lead pretty comfortable lives. Is that practical for the general population? Certain assets could never be hidden, I would think. Pensions? 401K’s? These are important questions that we need answers to.
Happy mothers day to all the women who read this site. Wonder how many that is?
Lot of interesting stories on this site. Seems when you come right down to it, the whole inequality in the divorce system, including the child support mechanism, is about power and wealth distribution. Just another chance to take wealth and power away from those who have it (men) and give it to those who are perceived not to have it(women). This has been going on for over a generation. Men could easily provide for their children by actually purchasing the things their children need, like clothing and food. Or by awarding fathers custody more frequently. But the politicians and courts have fixed it by forcing the father to give a portion of his income to his ex-wife, no matter what the specifics of the case were. The woman could have been a cheater, or incompetent with money, or a bad parent, and she still gets the kids…and consequently, a chunk of the mans income. Thats the ultimate plan, to put more power and wealth into womens hands. Cowardly judges are more concerned about making safe rulings that won’t be reversed than they are about any type of fairness. Not much we can do about it right now, but the stories have to get out there, so at least there is more awareness. With awareness comes at least some hope for change. The idea of fixing an old inequity with a new inequity in the other direction is the opposite of justice, and is against everything this country stands for.
Is a pre-nup enforceable regardless how long the marriage lasts. For instance if you sign a pre-nup stipulating all assets brought into the marriage and everything earned during the marriage are not joint, and you remain married 20 years,is the pre-nup still enforceable. I was badly burnt once and don’t want to have it happen again. It seems to me the woman is entitled to a larger percentage of the overall assets as the length of the marriage increases even if a pre-nup is in existence. Fool me once shame on you, Fool me twice shame on me.
This looks like a pretty good site. Wonder if there are any others who are actually looking to save their marriages rather than just shopping for a lawyer or venting their spleen. It’s certainly understandable to want to use this as a forum, since it seems their are not many venues to express these feelings, but are there others out there who would rather save it then dump the marriage. I have a lot of good years invested in my marriage, and while we are really struggling right now, I am hoping that we will be able to reconcile. She doesn’t seem interested, no matter how hard I try, she’s cold and seems to feel absolutely no love, Not sure what or who got to her, but if I could save it I still would. Anybody else in this predicament?
Not sure if I should try to save my marriage. I know I’m not happy, and I know that my efforts to be a good husband aren’t appreciated. Not sure what changed, but seems like no good deed goes unpunished. I try to be kind and respectful towards her, but it isn’t returned in kind. It’s like the golden rule, treat others like you want them to treat you…but it’s not working in this case. I’ll survive, I know I’m not getting much out of staying in this, so losing it wouldn’t be that bad. But I do believe in marriage and don’t believe in just giving up. Torn between doing the right thing and the smart thing. I know I’m not perfect, nobody is, but really puzzled why she has just turned cold. Seems like she’s convinced that she’s entitled to more out of life. I think her expectations are way out of line, I think if we do split, she’s in for a rude awakening. Like I say, I’m not perfect, but I don’t think that she’ll ever find what she’s looking for…it doesn’t exist.
We’re constantly being bombarded by the message that men are bad, women aren’t having their needs met, they need to be empowered, they can have it all, men are oppressers, yada yada yada…..Is it just me, or is this mythical woman a bunch of new age BS. Most of them can’t balance a checkbook, call a man to handle any type of difficult task, are practically incapable of rational, unemotional decision-making, and have lower self esteem then puppy in a breeding mill. I don’t say that to criticize women, but I mean it as an indictment of the process of creating these mythical women for the purposes of setting a political agenda. One way to villianize and diminish men is to build up women. Fine if it’s true, but these superwomen don’t really exist. The ones that have successful careers usually have family and personal lives that are tearing apart at the seams, or they forgoe having a family as a sacrifice to their careers, only to regret it later and become bitter as they bemoan their choices. So what to do? Many try single parenting later in life, only to surrender the very career they worked so hard to acheive, or pay someone to raise the kid. What’s the point? There is a lot of bitterness out there over the perceived, and sometimes real, male dominance of society in past eras, but selling some myth, some unattainable life style that only leads to disappointment doesn’t empower women, it just leads the ones who are not critical thinkers to buy into a lifestyle that they find almost impossible to achieve, and leads to more unhappiness later.
Great, great site. Been looking through some of the articles and content, funny stuff. You guys could probably get a lawyer to come on here and give professional divorce advice. A lot of good anecdotal stories on here, but people have to be careful of taking other’s experiences and applying it to their own situation. But some of these stories are great. Good to know other people are going through the same crap you are.
Basically, what a I see is that a lot of men, in the marrying age cohort (gen-X and slightly older), were influenced by TV shows like ‘Mary Tyler Moore’, eclectic artists like Debbie Harry (of Blondie), and the more slightly dysfunctional yet, all right marriages/families in ‘8 is enough’, ‘Archie’s Place’, etc, during their childhood.
What all of the above 70s culture did was infuse this idea that women are an ideal, that your needs of partnership will be fulfilled by our modern “liberated and egalitarian” society. Unfortunately, the truth of the matter is more ‘Desperate Housewives’, ‘Ally McBeal’, and ‘Married With Children’. There’s a maelstrom of histrionics and narcissism which point to the fact that perhaps it takes a few generations for economic and social freedoms to reach a steady-state equilibrium. Unfortunately, given the rise of interactive technologies, it appears that Dr Levy’s prediction of men marrying robots is more likely to be the final state (circa 2050) then the genders coming to terms with each other without it being the turf war that it is today.
Am I pessimistic, sure, but so far I don’t see any trends reversing themselves and more and more of my friends turning to alcohol to deal with their day-to-day interactions with the spouse and kids, never mind all the headaches from work.